


insert cat pun

by sharkie



Series: The Broad Walls [22]
Category: Babylon (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-25 14:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16199006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkie/pseuds/sharkie
Summary: Liz meets Finn's cat.





	insert cat pun

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Things that go bump in the night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6715513) by [austenfan1990](https://archiveofourown.org/users/austenfan1990/pseuds/austenfan1990). 



> This long-abandoned bare-bones thing that I found should probably rightfully go in _love as an auto-antonym_. But Boudie exists! And she's adorable! So please have...whatever this is. :3

The first time Liz visits Finn's home, she’s pleasantly surprised to discover that it isn’t a Gothic castle looming over the moors. 

Then she gapes at the grey, black-striped furball attacking his shoes and demands, “What the fuck is that?”

“A cat. My cat.” Finn notices her staring at him as if the cat had burst out of his forehead. “You didn't think I was just a dog person, did you?”

“You're not really a person. More like a swirling vortex of dark energy. And what about the basset hound figurine?”

“See, this aggressive false dichotomization is exactly why you nearly burned London to the ground by pitting _'old'_ and _'new'_ approaches against each other  - ”

Never mind that. “How do I not know you have a cat?” Liz persists.

“Because I don't carry around photos in my wallet, and I don't mention him when it's irrelevant, which is always.”

“But what happens when you stay at my place?”

“He's fine,” Finn assures her. “There's enough water and an automatic feeder. If that breaks, he'll kill something and leave its half-eaten remains on my pillow.”

Liz almost bends to eye-level with the cat, then forgoes it when she realises it'll exacerbate the height difference between her and Finn. “Well, introduce me to…”

“Mr. Mittens.” He stoops to scratch...Mr. Mittens between the ears. “The name is ironic.”

Liz raises an eyebrow. “Right.”

“Technically it's 'Mr. Mittens, Esquire', but I usually leave that part out. It intimidates people.”

“Yes, I'm sure it disturbs the masses who attend the long and lavish parties you throw. Aren't his titles kind of redundant?”

“First of all, why do you know that?” Finn complains. “And secondly, no, because - ”

“'Mr.' is his first name,” Liz guesses. He glowers at her, having been robbed of the punchline; she grins in triumph. “He can't go by 'Mr. Mr.'”

Finn scoops Mr. Mittens, Esq. into his hands and holds him up. “This is Liz. Be a good kitty and throw up on her expensive-looking dress.”

“I'm fucking your daddy,” Liz greets the cat.  

He scowls and withdraws Mr. Mittens until they're both a safe distance away from her. “Don't ever say that combination of words in my presence ever again.”


End file.
